I wonder about all this effort and the answer hit me in the forehead like a stone. ¡So much effort for nothing! A sour end to my meaningless odyssey. I was always trying to do the right thing trying to keep up with the "perfect bunch". I've been wasting my time in so many ways. I have a dark side just like everybody else why do I need to hide it. I can't deny that I've tried and I failed. I need to accept who I am perhaps embrace it instead of punishing myself over and over again trying to change my nature, my ways my thoughts. I guess we all fight for understanding. We seek approval our whole lifes but why. Isn’t easy for us just to accept ourselves? I've been living in denial; always choosing others ideas, others feelings above mine. I've been hiding myself trying to change. ¡Wrong! If others can accept me for who I am and how I am why do I keep trying so hard? Do I need to make a lie of myself? No, it's enough.
I'll embrace me, live for me, enjoy me, deal with me and finally listen to me. I will do what I want what I please. It's not about being happy or better or stronger. It’s about me. Accepting me should be the purpose of my life. Scream when I feel to, laugh, cry, feel, talk, when I want to. I'll no longer allow the circumstances to shut me down. I will live like I am suppose to. I will no longer be somebody else, no my daddy‘s little girl, no my friends mate, no my boss little dog. Me, is who I am and always will be. I know that it will not be easy, but what is the exact meaning of the word easy. Enough is enough.¡Stop! I will not stay buried under this cosy hole, full with fake smiles, wishes of fortune, hard work and loneliness. It's time to wake up. ¡It’s time to get up! Stand on my feet for once in my life. I don't need the rest of the world to validate me I worth more than that. No more selling my precious time, doing useless things, enough of living for a price. Just like the song I will run wild and free. Today I've decide to be me, start to live.